I brought up Imposter Syndrome to a few friends recently and I've been thinking about it ever since. Most people I've talked to are totally unfamiliar with the term, although it quite commonly plagues students. Imposter Syndrome or imposter phenomenon was originally defined by psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes in 1978. The term was used to designate an internal experience of "intellectual phoniness" especially in those of "outstanding academic and professional accomplishment". They went further to discuss how women in particular handle imposter syndrome, noting that women often feel that they are "not very bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise" despite amazing achievements. A quick google search will return evidence that women seem to be more affected by this syndrome than their male counterparts in the professional world. While I believe that there are many systematic reasons contributing to that, it's clearly led to a lot of really talented women feeling really crummy about their abilities in the workplace. And regardless of gender, imposter syndrome prevents many people from getting ahead and succeeding at work.

I can admit that I have felt this way off and on through most of my academic career. Even now, as a 4th year student with more experience under my belt and academic knowledge, I still grapple with feeling as though people will find out I'm not as smart as every other pharmacy student out there. The truth is, I may not be, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing or a thing to be ashamed of. The other truth is, I have had just as much of an education, and just as many experiences as my peers. As students, we get boggled down with impressing our preceptors and managing the high expectations we set for ourselves when we finally get to venture outside the classroom. It's perfectly understandable. We've been cooped up for 3 years furiously studying for every exam, and every practical, so we want to make sure the knowledge stuck! We want to finally apply what we've learned, stretch those brains, and shine. However, idealizing and expecting that you'll know the answer to every single question is just unhealthy. Having this idealization of perfection, nurturing it, and then subsequently failing to achieve it can manifest as one big monster of an imposter syndrome. It's hard, I get it! It's even harder to quell the monster once it's risen its big ugly head (I once spent 2 weeks upset over not understanding the complete pathophysiology of heart failure when asked by a preceptor, was it worth it? NO).

So what do we do? There are a lot of tips and tricks out there on how to overcome or manage imposter syndrome but I think there is one hugely important one: just be nice to yourself. It's the easiest, most selfless and compassionate thing you can do for yourself. Allow yourself room to make mistakes, and understand that you are only human. In medicine especially Stop comparing yourself to classmates, embrace that you are a distinct individual with your own successes. Personally, I've found that creating some positive affirmations for myself (ex. you are confident, capable, and doing well) is extremely helpful for when I'm feeling anxious. If I have the time in that moment or even later, I do something that I love, I indulge in some self-care, and I cut myself a break. Handling imposter syndrome is a process, its cyclic and some days and situations will be easier than others. My affirmations sometimes fail, and some days I can't muster up enough confidence to be as nice to myself as I should. But I work everyday to at least try to keep myself positive and reminded that I belong in this field and that my successes are valid.