A few weeks after ASHP's Mid Year conference, and the official start of my residency journey, one of my mentors from my program reached out to me. He wished me well on any potential interviews I might receive, and said, "The next 8 weeks ought to be a lot of fun. You'll learn much more than you ever expected-about residencies and about yourself. Stay calm." Of course I appreciated the sentiment, but I could not fully grasp what that would mean for me. Little did I know, my journey to residency would double as a journey to self-discovery too!

Despite having good grades and a well-rounded CV, I still felt the need to apply to a bunch of programs in order to improve my chances of hearing back about interviews. It wasn't too hard to choose places that I was interested in. I knew that it was time for me to try to leave Philadelphia/NJ. I love Philadelphia with all my heart but I have been there my entire life. I've had friends who have left the area for school or work and came back, and some who didn't, but I had always been a constant here for them to come back to. I knew it was my turn to fly out and see if I could be successful elsewhere too. That choice broadened my list of programs. I also exclusively chose programs that offered electives or opportunities to rotate into transplant settings.  During my first APPE rotation I discovered that I LOVED transplant, and I knew that if I wanted to explore doing transplant (and potentially specialize in a PGY2) that I needed to find programs that could support it. Overall it was super important for me to find well-rounded programs, with plenty of opportunities and on the cutting edge of medicine. Way too many applications and personal statements later, I ended up with 7 interviews, and only had to turn down 1.

January and February were a total whirlwind. In the course of just a few weeks I traveled to places like Virginia, Connecticut, central Pennsylvania and even my home city of Philadelphia. Most were places I was quite unfamiliar with. In the days prior to my first interview, I practiced questions religiously (which I was advised not to do because the first interview always ends up being a mess anyway). I don't regret practicing because it definitely kept me afloat in that interview for longer than it would have if I didn't practice! I fumbled and stuttered and did all sorts of messy things but managed to keep it together overall. I certainly didn't know how I was going to get through 5 more after that initial one because let me tell ya, interviewing from 8am to 4pm is EXHAUSTING. Luckily it did get easier with each interview I went to.

One of the things that led me to reflect more on who I was as a person, was that I went to each of these interviews by myself. I spent a lot of time alone, driving, hanging out in my hotel and constantly pondering the life events that had gotten me to that point. After all, I was being asked about my life at just about every interview so I considered it a type of prep! It was my trip to Virginia that ultimately led me to realize just how much I had learned about myself throughout the whole process. It also led me to realize just how capable I was of being independent. Virginia marked the middle of my journey and I only had three interviews left but I was utterly exhausted! After a long 5 hour drive to my hotel, I decided to do something for myself. I got right back into my car and drove west to Shenandoah National Park. I went in through Rockfish Gap, with no real plans other then to drive Skyline Drive for as long as I could. I remember pulling off onto one of the overlooks and sitting on the hood of my car, looking out into the valley and enjoying the serenity it brought me. It was the first stretch of true quiet I had in weeks. Even when I was traveling alone I had the noise of my own busy thoughts floating about, but not there. I thought about how just a year ago I had been ill, and would have never attempted this. Two years prior, I was completely emotionally-dependent on a boyfriend who just didn't feel the same. Three years prior I was terrified out of my mind to leave my undergraduate friends and start pharmacy school. And yet there I was, in Shenandoah, by myself, surviving, thriving, and making it through. I had an overwhelming sense of calm flood my mind as I realized that I had been okay all those times, and more than likely, that meant I'd be okay at the end of residency interviews, no matter what happened.



On March 20th, match day, I woke up and went through my normal routine. Had coffee, watched the news, lounged in my PJs and waited for that fated email that would tell me where I was going for the next year of my life (and possibly two!). As it got closer to 8am I got increasingly nervous and decided to take a page from the book of my two favorite tv characters, Meredith Grey and Christina Yang. Yep, I danced it out. I danced it out for about 3 minutes, turned to my computer, and there it was. The email. With my number 1 choice reflected at the top: Yale New Haven Hospital.

Although the last three months were possibly more stressful than all of pharmacy school combined, my mentor was right: I had learned more about myself than I could have possibly imagined. I needed to learn that I could be independent, and that no matter what residency (or life) brought, I'd survive, and probably thrive. Leaving Philadelphia is bittersweet, but I'm so excited to see what Connecticut will bring! I can't wait to share the adventures I have there as a pharmacy resident.